I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
