god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I want to fling myself into the sun
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
