is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
