im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
