PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
