White coat. Heels.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
