Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize