I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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