Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
