We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
