I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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