how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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