1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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