Non-Jews are for practice
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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