Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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