Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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