I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the day after is always just damage control
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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