is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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