I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
