I'm going to jail i love you
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
