I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
