So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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