She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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