I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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