Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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