I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
