Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
