I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
