homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
