so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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