The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
