Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
