ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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