before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
