Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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