I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I need mimosas to revive my soul
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
