he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
