K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
