i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
