Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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