sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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