? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
