he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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