420 ftw
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
