you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We're too hungover to prance.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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