you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
