I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize