I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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