So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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