I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She told me I should be a condom model.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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