i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize