I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
