i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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