If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
