I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
