just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
