She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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