i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
