that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
