What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize