I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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