Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
