Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
