Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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