Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
