So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize