SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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