I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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