I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
