Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
