and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
