and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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