evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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