I want to have your abortion
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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