So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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