Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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