Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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