Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize