What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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