so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
