We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
