You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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