not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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