I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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